jacket shopping

aaah the winter is drawing in (i kid) but srsly, all this hot weather is making me panic about it getting cold again. so without further ado, the results from my onilne snooping for cute jackets...
blimey, these jackets are so boring!! and they were the best i could find! what's going on?

movie test...

found this at http://smartlikeme.wordpress.com/

The Bechdel Test:

To pass it your movie must have the following:

1) there are at least two named female characters, who

2) talk to each other about

3) something other than a man.

So simple, and yet as you go through all your favorite movies (and most of your favorite TV shows, though there’s a little more variety in TV), you find very few movies pass this test.

I watched anchorman last night, and yeh ok.. it's anchorman.

It *nearly* passed the test when Veronica Corningstone is out with 'Helen', a character who i think has 2 speaking lines in the film, and Helen tells Veronica that Ron will read anything that is put on the teleprompter, ANYTHING.

So it passes the '2 named female characters' just about..

Having a conversation... just about, the scene is about 30 seconds long

About something other than a man FAIL

Maybe anchorman is too easy. Other recent films, Mamma Mia and Juno. both directed by women though... um... does that make a difference?

move!

This week my car and my love are on a [his family] men’s holiday. This means that I was wrong in assuming both the gender of my wicked car, and its affiliation. Heartbreak aside, I have been leant a replacement for my ugly duckling, in the form of a smaller and uglier duckling. It looks like this:



It has a 850cc litre engine. That’s smaller than some bikes. It’s an automatic, and it’s very silly.


I have to say I have never been so confused in a car in my entire 3.2 year driving life! The clutch is my point of reference, the thing you need to know, and the thing that will make your car pull away smoothly or stutter and stall. A car without a clutch is like a computer without a mouse. It’s like a man without an appetite, all my knowledge on keeping car/computer/man happy & making it work is to do with good clutch control, mouse moving and lunch cooking. I had better luck driving the transit.


When I purchased my first love car, the paxo, its then owner said (puffing delicately on a cigar and drinking a glass of expensive looking red wine) “dear, it’s a very simple little car, it just goes.” The same can be said for the move, but this would be a massive understatement! No remote central locking, no electric windows, no stereo, and wing mirrors that you lean out of the car and wiggle around yourself. Mental.


I was tres spun out by this strange little machine. At 720kg, it has a nifty little power to weight ratio, and on fast roads it drives like a leaf. It has a top speed of a mighty 81 mph. Overtaking a lorry on a fast road you take your life in your hands, on a windy day you will get flung about like you don’t even exist and at 90mph I’ve heard it can take off. Despite this, I am glad to report that I am still alive and by the time I publish this post the little demon will be back with its rightful owners (phew!)

have i posted this before?

slimy, yet satisfying

*random note - the titles of my blog posts are not spell checked by the comp the way the rest of my wordz are. as a result, i think a few of them are spelled wrong but hopefully u get me anyway. i refuse to believe that the above is spelled correctly, and am twitching at it. i am sure i am wrong. gaarraaggh!!

on with the post...

today there is a cheesecake in my fridge. does that sound rude to anyone or have i been left alone too long with kids that chuckle at... anything?

i love cheesecake, i think i have posted about it a few times before. my love of cheesecake is like my love of lemon iced cakes, but much much munch more.

i can't eat it... still. this is just *wrong* - right i'll explain... too much sugar (especially when eaten without anything else non sugary) makes me hyper as a 3 year old on smarties, and about half an hour later, i crash in a big way, hot/cold/tired/nauseous/headache - it's why on shopping trips i can top up with a chocolate bar, if i am tres hungry i will take the crisps instead. this is often the problem with going out drinking as well, i'm pretty sure i get half the buzz from the mixers!

i am usually pretty good with this, cuz i know exactly how rubbish the after effects are. feel pretty crap right now. wanna go to bed but am twitching. meh

so i fixed myself some munch.

in a hypercrazy mood i will cook anything and everything, and i crave more sugar cuz i think it will take me back to the hyperness -- so i have to be careful

i cooked:
a veggie sausage
the remains of some curly fries
a super noodle??
some peas
some mushroom soup that i used as a pasta sauce yesterday with sweetcorn

man that was some slimy food!

i just realised that this post is going nowhere in a grampa simpson kinda way so i will just conclude with 'it asome nice munch and now i am writing about it cuz i am bored and can't move cuz my legs ache'

women are like cars.

http://www.feministing.com/archives/009775.html

:-(

on sloth, gluttony and being an antisocial arse

so tonight i *could* have gone to rollerworld
i could have gone for a walk
i could have done the laundry
i could have tidyed the room
i could have [insert misc housework]
i should have called my mum
my boss should have called me
i should get off my ass and go wash up my plate, maybe make a cuppa (decaf) tea

fact is, i suffer from sloth. and for that matter, i also suffer from gluttony, and the two combined are lethal. for example, tonight i had a can of beans with veggie sausages in, i cooked the whole can because i couldn't be arsed to put half the can in a plastic tub, as i am home alone and i couldn't be bothered to wash the tub up whenever i eat the rest of the beans..


I KNOW

also, i have a cheesecake in the fridge, and i LOVE cheesecake. but i am too full to eat it but tonight i might eat it because it is so nice. its a stawberry one, not quite a lemon but GET THIS, i have lemon cakes too! no i am not going in the kitchen, cuz i know if i do, i will do something that will make me feel ill. i know there is no room left at the inn after that whole can of beans.

so at the moment, the sloth is preventing the gluttony.

what is also preventing the gluttony is that there are people in the kitchen. nice people, i met them about 2 weeks ago when i moved in. but tonight i am also suffering from being an antisocial arse and i don't want to go in the kitchen in case i have to *talk* to someone

sigh

gotta have faith

spot the difference

morpheus

The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.—Morpheus

conformist

you can spend your life trying not to conform but you gotta give in somewhere, and people who try to nonconform will always do so in a way that conforms with other people who are 'not conforming'. sad but true

the more different you try and be from other people the more they will look but not understand. so you gotta cut down on your silly side in order to have friends, or at least people that know you a bit but still want to talk to you.

not conforming is great fun, depending on what you are throwing away and how easy that is... however, there is a danger that you start to think yourself superior to those that conform because you personally can't see the value in what they do! that's it though, they *do* see a value in it - which make it all cool right?

i guess at some point we all have to play the game, you have to sacrifice the person you want to be for the person you want to be, if you wanna be an accountant, you can't have rockin purple hair at your cool job. if you wanna do cool fun things as a youth worker you gotta sit down and risk assess first, and then worry about it every damn day. if you wanna change the world you gotta live in it first. compromise or conformity?

priories people!

fail

http://i34.tinypic.com/34huxlg.jpg

cute fail

bed

ensconced

this arvy i asked teh dave to help with lunch, and he told me he was "ensconced" in what he was doing (something on the internets, probably ebaying)

to settle securely or snugly: I found her in the library, ensconced in an armchair.

to cover or shelter; hide securely: He ensconced himself in the closet in order to eavesdrop.
just so you know.

22 years i have been trying to speak english, and he throws me effortlessly out of my smug 'i can speak english' bubble lol whatever.

dreams again

i had a wickedcool matrix style dream last night, there was a poltergeist beating up puff and i was trying to find it, and then it tripped snowmantle up and i punched it in the face. then i went jumping around like i was on the moon. i often have superduper powers in my dreams, or i am really really weak (think punching someone and they hardly flinch and laugh at you, or running away but going super slow and not being able to run faster, or feeling like ur legs are so heavy you can't move) last night i had superduper powers, and i could jump really high and fight things like in crouching tiger! i realise i sound like a kid writing this, and that there is nothing more boring than reading about other peoples dreams. sorry, i felt i had to share.

i hate the world today

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

republic, summertime, shopping, happy,2

home made stuff

i made these as a kiddling and thought they could have a different post to my other stuffs, cuz they are more cheesy!

in defence of shop brought jewellery

specs have arrived!

woot! here they r!!

boobs

a comment i saw that stuck in my mind:

"if you have small boobs, men don't wanna listen to ya
if you have bif boobs, men want to listen to ya, but cant!
what sort of boobs are you supposed to have in order to be taken seriously around here...?

oh right, a penis."

Thanks, Sarah Haskins!

Funneh girl

here's a jezbel link featuring 4 of her videos, about important things like brides, botox, yoghurt that makes u poop, etc.

dont say i never give you anything good on this blog!

silly things i hear

at the bar, i got stuck listening to a squeaky 'which one of us conforms better to the narrow standard of beauty portrayed by glossy mags' conversation.

girl 1: you are so skinny and beautiful
girl 2: you are more skinny tho
girl 1: and you have great tits
girl 2: yeh but you are skinnier than me, blonder than me AND have bigger tits.
girl 1: yeh but you are skinny and blonde with big tits too!!
girl 2: you are so much more beautiful than me!
barman: ... and there is your change ladies... *rolls eyes*

the barman was HOT by the way (yes mel, the one with the stupid haircut and silly facial hair)

i just wanted to shake these girls

*THERE IS MORE THAN ONE STANDARD OF BEAUTY YOU SILLY WOMEN!*

aaaaahh!

i know this is on the internets and they will never find it, but it feels good to get that off my chest.

some schools are disgusting

a bunch of schools in the states told 20 odd classes of teens that selected classmates were dead.

"OCEANSIDE, Calif. - On a Monday morning last month, highway patrol officers visited 20 classrooms at El Camino High School to announce some horrible news: Several students had been killed in car wrecks over the weekend.

Classmates wept. Some became hysterical.

A few hours and many tears later, though, the pain turned to fury when the teenagers learned that it was all a hoax — a scared-straight exercise designed by school officials to dramatize the consequences of drinking and driving."

having recently witnessed the horribly sad event that happened locally, in which a 16 year old boy was hit by a careless driver and killed instantly.. and thereafter seen the group mourn together for weeks at the scene of the accident i've been witnessing the pain felt by schoolkids at the loss of one of their own. it's big and it's emotional and its really moving to see them all band together around their friend.

i wouldn't know if teens feel react and respond differently about tragedy in their circles of friends to adults, but what i do know is how disgusting it is to fuck with them like that.

"At school assemblies, some students held up posters that read: "Death is real. Don't play with our emotions.""

onions are funny

this is wickedness

NEW BRIGHTON, MN—Immediately following a physician's examination for her menstrual cessation, 37-year-old events planner Janice Crowley told reporters Tuesday that she is "ecstatic" with her diagnosis of a rapidly growing intrauterine parasite.

"I'm so happy!" Crowley said of the golf ball–sized, nutrient-sapping organism embedded deep in the wall of her uterus. "I was beginning to think this would never happen to me."

Crowley's condition is common and well-documented, with millions of women between the ages of 12 and 50 diagnosed every year. Studies have shown that while the disorder strikes without prejudice across racial, ethnic, and class lines, it bears a very high correlation with the consumption of alcohol at the time of infection. Although there is a low-cost daily medication available that can prevent the harmful symbiote with 99 percent efficacy, many women inexplicably choose not to use it.

Symptoms of potential uterine blight are wide-ranging and can include nausea, vomiting, constipation, irritability, emotional instability, swollen or tender breasts, massive weight gain, severe loss of bone density, fatigue, insomnia, excessive flatulence, hemorrhoids, vaginal tearing, and involuntary defecation.

"I can't wait to tell my parents!" said Crowley, who added that she is reasonably certain she contracted the parasite while on a romantic Caribbean cruise with her husband in May, most likely during a brief sojourn in the Virgin Islands.

love this dress

can't tell you why, but i love it anyway

dress

it is gorgeous, and i had to link it cuz miss selfridge is a pain in the ass and wont let me covert its imgs!! bah!!

pretty dresses again

what do vegetarians actually eat?

i've heard this question SO many times that i really want it answered on the interwebs.. so i am thinking of starting a blog about what i eat. i know hardly anyone looks at this blog but i wondered if i could answer an age old question with another blog, since i do like posting about food and i do have a wicked camera on my phone.

my motives are
* my mum *still* asks me what vegetarians eat.
* i'm fed up of hearing 'omg so and so is coming over and they are a vegetarian and i haven't got anything vegetarian to eat!!'
* also fed up of thinking veggies are malnourished or eat not much/never get any variety.

my issues are
* can i actually be arsed to set up a blog for this purpose?
* will i bother to maintain it... if so, when?
* is there any point?

if anyone (um.. the 2 people that read this lol) has any define inspiration pls 2 let me know!

also sorry about the spellings on here tonight i can't seem to work out if the spellchecker is on and my spelling is AVERAGE lol not terrible!! but i still apologise.

getting old

a few things recently have reminded me that i am not the yoof i used to be.

well ok, i am reminded of this every time i go to work but i like to think that after office hours i am a lively silly dizzy young thing who contributes to binge drinking culture and the moral deteriation of our fine nation.

however

i spent about 7 minutes in Yates on saturday night. this is silly, i do actually like the place. even though they discriminate against cheapskate vegetarians who need a fried breakfast at 2pm, i love their food, i love their cheese and leek sausages, mash and peas, i love their... sameness as you go round the country, you know you can get a cheap slap up meal in yates whenever and it'll always be alright.

what i don't like is being surrounded by drunken sweaty teens, cheesy music and people that look like they have been getting ready to go out since last tuesday. i don't like no where to sit/stand/try and stay upright with all the people pushing past u, the feet stuck to the floor problem, the piss all over the floor in the toilets and the general feeling that i should have drank at least four times what i had done in order to have a decent time here. i couldn't really work out how this was to be done, since i couldn't even *see* the bar let alone get to it...

i spent so long in that sort of boozing establishment, and these days i have a short attention span, i know what i want and if it aint there, i'm gone. i can't decide if that's a clever trick you learn as you get older, not to put up with shite, or if it's a mere justification of the fact i am turning into a grumpy arse.

maybe i am just trying to pretend that i am strong willed and awesome, when in fact i am just moody and no fun!! arhh!!

*identity crisis*

whatever.

new specs :-)

yeh i went to specsavers!!

good afternoon... rant

it's really sad i feel the need to rant about this today, the whole thing just makes me kinda blue. but still, rant i must.

i checked facebook today to find todays sponsored link a '1 in 3 rapes happen when the victim has been drinking - know your limits!' ad. this ad annoys me on a number of levels, firstly, the victim blaming level. most people who are raped are raped by people they know, people they *trust*, friends, family, friends of friends. the way the ad presents it, with a story from a girl who went to a club and a guy brought her a load of drinks and followed her home, eventually left her alone but she was worried it could have ended up a whole lot worse, implies that if you let a man buy you drinks, he is likely to follow you home and try to rape you.

now this is difficult too, since there is such a high proportion of men and who believe that there are circumstances in which a woman can be responsible for her own rape, (i am not sure if this is true of the men and children that are raped and abused, but 5% of women and 3% of men "believed that a woman was 'totally responsible' for being raped if she was intoxicated." ) and messages like this can serve to reinforce that opinion.

i kinda want the message to be 'all rapes happen when someone rapes someone else' the act is carried out by the agressor to the victim. the victim is a victim (do i sound like i am stating the obv a bit too much here?) they did not choose to be raped, no one 'asks for it'! rape happens because rapists rape! not because women drink, not because people 'turn gay' in prison, not because men can't control themselves, but because rape is an act of violence. it is a weapon of war, it is not about sex, but control.

alcohol may make rape victims easier to control. it may blurr their memories and lessen the (6%) chance of conviction. it does not make people get raped, it was not their damned fault!

how about 'if you are raped when drunk, no one will believe you and the court system will cross excamine your life, deem you a ho bag and there will be nothing else you can do about it, also, we recently cut funding for rape crisis call centres so good luck getting though, and if you need any councelling you can only have it for 6 months...

and although i understand that it might be easier to blame the victims, it doesn't just happen in this case, there are so many 'you should be more careful' warnings out there, extra security etc, but the fact is crime happens and no matter what you do there are people who will get past your defenses eventually. sitting at home in a locked room covered up doing nothing will not get anyone anywhere. that includes teenagers, who are being stabbed in record numbers, and carrying knives to defend themselves as they reason if you get 5 years for it, at least you are still alive.

people get raped because other people rape them

people get stabbed because other people carry knives, and use them


it's SO simple!

women: know your limits, and push them further every day. (no, i don't mean drink more every day.. gah) don't stay in, if you want to do something, volunteer, campaign, lobby. please don't sit at home all weekend!

biccys

cool. these are v naice if a bit too sweet... can only have 1 at a time with these badboys!!!!

for teh mello 2

• f.r.i.e.n.d.s the movie might be on it's way

a long read

but worth it

srsly....

and not for the squeamish!!

smellin gooood

i got some of this in tescos tonight, it smells SOOO nice!! *sniff*