politan

the mid 20s crisis

as i shim from my 'early' 20s to 'mid' i have seen a fair few people thinking out loud about that mid 20s crisis. now's my turn.

having been lucky enough to have never thought i was in a crisis when i might have been (does that even make sense?) i almost wonder if it would be a good thing, but gone are the days, if there ever were those days, where i crave indecicivness, confusion and emo soul searching.

for me, the mid 20s crisis has always been 'am i a worthwhile human being and a good use of resources' (stupid business studies, 'am i a viable product'...ARGH)

i am happier now, i know what i want and even though i sometimes feel like i'm not getting anywhere fast, at least i know what i want and am heading in one of the right directions.

i'm more confident now. i look back on photos of myself at times when i deemed myself so worthless i should never have ventured out of my room, and instead of thinking 'well, i was pretty ugly and stupid looking then, maybe i should have stayed in.' i find myself wanting to go back in time and shake that person with no self esteem. tell her she is reasonable looking and certainly not offensive unless of course you listen to her which nobody does anyway because we are all stupid people with a lot to learn.

i am not more well-off now LOL

i am further from home now

i am busier now

i have purpose now?

this is long. monday morning.

natural rejection

many years ago (2006 i think??!) i got a tinted moisturiser in boots from their cheapo brand 'natural collection'

it was less than 2 quid, which was brilliant, and it has lasted til, uh, about now lol.

i feel like a bit of a stig keeping make up for that long but there you go...

anyway, i replaced it this weekend, and the shade is called 'natural' - it's about the colour in the pic.

now not to be so nitpicky over wordage, but does this mean that colours other than this are less/not natural?

i'm now pissed off i didn't see it before supporting the cause with my £1.95. bad boots!

we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take this anymore!

i watched 'Network' today it's a cracking film. here's a little something from newscaster gone mad, Howard Beale

Howard Beale: [arms outstretched to the heavens] Edward George Ruddy died today! Edward George Ruddy was the Chairman of the Board of the Union Broadcasting Systems, and he died at eleven o'clock this morning of a heart condition, and woe is us! We're in a lot of trouble!

[calmly strolling toward the audience] So. A rich little man with white hair died. What has that got to do with the price of rice, right? And *why* is that woe to us? Because you people, and sixty-two million other Americans, are listening to me right now. Because less than three percent of you people read books! Because less than fifteen percent of you read newspapers! Because the only truth you know is what you get over this tube. Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn't come out of this tube! This tube is the Gospel, the ultimate revelation. This tube can make or break presidents, popes, prime ministers... This tube is the most awesome God-damned force in the whole godless world, and woe is us if it ever falls in to the hands of the wrong people, and that's why woe is us that Edward George Ruddy died. Because this company is now in the hands of CCA -- the Communication Corporation of America. There's a new Chairman of the Board, a man called Frank Hackett, sitting in Mr. Ruddy's office on the twentieth floor. And when the twelfth largest company in the world controls the most awesome God-damned propaganda force in the whole godless world, who knows what shit will be peddled for truth on this network?

[ascending the stage] So, you listen to me. Listen to me: Television is not the truth! Television is a God-damned amusement park! Television is a circus, a carnival, a travelling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, side-show freaks, lion tamers, and football players. We're in the boredom-killing business! So if you want the truth... Go to God! Go to your gurus! Go to yourselves! Because that's the only place you're ever going to find any real truth.

---

[laughing to himself] But, man, you're never going to get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear; we lie like hell. We'll tell you that, uh, Kojak always gets the killer, or that nobody ever gets cancer at Archie Bunker's house, and no matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry, just look at your watch; at the end of the hour he's going to win. We'll tell you any shit you want to hear. We deal in *illusions*, man! None of it is true! But you people sit there, day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds... We're all you know. You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality, and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you! You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even *think* like the tube! This is mass madness, you maniacs! In God's name, you people are the real thing! *WE* are the illusion! So turn off your television sets. Turn them off now. Turn them off right now. Turn them off and leave them off! Turn them off right in the middle of the sentence I'm speaking to you now! TURN THEM OFF...
[collapses in a prophetic swoon as the audience erupts in thunderous applause]

cooking

it's been ages since i did a cooking related post, and since i am too brain dead to write much else tonight, here's what i cooked

um...

i call it sweet potato-onion surprise.

we had a big ol' bunch of onions (which was the style at the time)
a load of sweet potatoes we hadn't used up due to the fact that they are long to prepare
and um, no rice! argh! so.. some... couscous

i boiled the sweet pots for a little while (boiling them too much results in sweet potato mash, it makes mash whether u want it or not so u have to keep an eye on the little fiends) and fried the onions and some frozen peppers i found with a whole bunch of spices, mostly tumeric and chilli powder so it was lovely dark orange-y and a big squidge of garlic paste then i made some couscous and bunged that in too. it was really nice, if a little bit 0niony lol but srsly, bargainous way to use up stuff.

in other news, the reason i am using up stuff is cuz teh mello will be coming to stay on weds and i figured i'd take her f00d shopping so we can get stuff she actually likes.

i bet she is really excited about this lol... i know how 2 show my friends a good time! supermarkets!! wooo!

i want mamma mia to come out on dvd

meeeeeeh hurry uuuuuuuuuup!!

dreams again

i had a wickedcool matrix style dream last night, there was a poltergeist beating up puff and i was trying to find it, and then it tripped snowmantle up and i punched it in the face. then i went jumping around like i was on the moon. i often have superduper powers in my dreams, or i am really really weak (think punching someone and they hardly flinch and laugh at you, or running away but going super slow and not being able to run faster, or feeling like ur legs are so heavy you can't move) last night i had superduper powers, and i could jump really high and fight things like in crouching tiger! i realise i sound like a kid writing this, and that there is nothing more boring than reading about other peoples dreams. sorry, i felt i had to share.

music post

so i've already burdened a few of you with this track/vid

whatevs

http://www.myspace.com/fiveoclockheroes

the vid's on here :-)

Bovine

Mooooo