the mid 20s crisis

as i shim from my 'early' 20s to 'mid' i have seen a fair few people thinking out loud about that mid 20s crisis. now's my turn.

having been lucky enough to have never thought i was in a crisis when i might have been (does that even make sense?) i almost wonder if it would be a good thing, but gone are the days, if there ever were those days, where i crave indecicivness, confusion and emo soul searching.

for me, the mid 20s crisis has always been 'am i a worthwhile human being and a good use of resources' (stupid business studies, 'am i a viable product'...ARGH)

i am happier now, i know what i want and even though i sometimes feel like i'm not getting anywhere fast, at least i know what i want and am heading in one of the right directions.

i'm more confident now. i look back on photos of myself at times when i deemed myself so worthless i should never have ventured out of my room, and instead of thinking 'well, i was pretty ugly and stupid looking then, maybe i should have stayed in.' i find myself wanting to go back in time and shake that person with no self esteem. tell her she is reasonable looking and certainly not offensive unless of course you listen to her which nobody does anyway because we are all stupid people with a lot to learn.

i am not more well-off now LOL

i am further from home now

i am busier now

i have purpose now?

this is long. monday morning.