ok so we missed the first 4 since we were out getting some rum so analysis is slightly less detailed, as it is based on the short clips we saw at the end:
1. Lithuania - nice hat on the dude
2. Israel - looked pretty good
3. France - looked alright, apparently this lady is very famous and awesome!
4. Sweden - nah
we didn't grade this lot out of 10, but marks from 10 in yellow below, along with proffesional and slightly drunken grading notes.
5. Iceland - sings in english? quite sweet, cute dress, country ish. 6
6. Portual cute! nice accordion, nice dress, happy song 8
7. Croatia - crazy wind machine batman, cheese/folk not too bad, nice boyband twinkle in the guy's eye lol 6
8. Greece - stupid costumes, bad beat bad hip action from singer gaaaaah no! do not want 'fly to the top baby' no. +3 for conveyor belt action, +1 for smooth move, -1 for nipple action total: 4
9. Armenia - interesting costumes and dance, loose points for 'everybody move ur body' we gave 6 points for originality and staying true to own thing.
10. Russia - wearing a sheet, sounds like a cat, miserable song, sounds like cat. total: 1
11. Azerbaijan - cheese factor ++++++ pretty lady +1 for silver leg, +2 for 'man plays thing' +1 for fire, ooo! and overal 7 for danceability.
and then dunno whats goin on in the order here,
Malta - Impressive voice, nice look goin, -1 for stupid head snap thing, total: 8
Estonia - really nice beat, chillin song, brilliantly talented bunch, nice haircut, violin playing = bonne, good singing 8
Denmark - -4 written by ronan, -2 looks/sounds like ronan, +1 nice braclets, interesting ix of msicians +2, bad singer, guitar player is fit, +3 --- total, 4
Germany - oh no oh god (mir) -4 for eyebrow plucking and sparkly glitter leggings, dancers are good, +2 tap dance and +3 for DVT, and the pianist is big in germany? lol, 5 points, just.
Turkey - cool start, stupid skirts, +1 fire, +1 wiggle, +3 hot guy in a skirt +1 flip, total 7.
Bosnia - -1 white trousers, -1 bad hair, +1, looks like vampire, +1 drums, +1 stubble on lead singer, +2 actually he has a very good voice, +1 theatricality, +1 red flag/military thing goin on, total 7
Maldova - +2 stupid costume, +1 strong legs, nice voice, rough sounding, + 3 silly dancing + energy, +1, random mop, quite cool, 8.
Albania - tutu -2, +3 turquoise glitter outfit, +1 mimes, +3 break dancing mimes spinning on heads. song = rubbish, total 5
Norway - +3 danicng, +1 eyebrows, quite sweet, looks about 10, +1 playing violin, -1 girls going 'da da', but nice outfits, +1 fire tricks. total, 8.
Ukraine - 6, +2 tacky, -1 roman helmets, +1 men in skirts, +2 +1 doing the splits, the singer does some drumming whilst being dragged around by men in skirts +3 for good singing whilst being chucked around by kinky romans? total, 6 (it was a crap song)
Romania - -1 for uncomforatble looking boobies on main 'singer', +1 for forest elf outfits, -2 for blatant 'cheating with the girl in the blue dress in the corner. total: 4
23. UK woooooooooo! nice dress, very disney/ALW, very good singer, uplifting cheesefest, 8
24. Finalnd - nice dancey... what? YMCA outfit goin on, bad whiteboy rapping gonig on too, +1 fire effects, -2 for men wearing boleros - 3, total: 3
25. Spain +1 for cheese, +1 for lame magic trick, +1 for 'jumping' and +1 for interesting final note. total: 4
#071 – deadpan
3 hours ago