someone from jersey shore, advice from.

"If you want to bust out a deep-V that's safety-cone orange because you think that's your colour, then wear the hell out of that fruity shirt so everybody in the club knows that nobody owns it like you do."

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5668719/exclusive-the-situations-new-book-is-the-literary-equivalent-of-an-ed-hardy-tee#ixzz12vFgmj7x

flowcart

overthinking it have come up with this amusing flowchart...

25 things you'll always hear in a ladies mag

awesome

includes such gems as:

7. There are four ways to dress: Romantic florals, Urban Chic, Classic with an Edgy Twist, and wearing your boyfriends t-shirt is sexy.

13. Buy some fucking boots. Wear them with all the sundresses we encouraged you to buy and a ‘chunky’ sweater and BAM! Summer to fall wardrobe! Jazz hands, statement piece!

17. Here’s another terrible STD you can die from. There aren’t any symptoms and absolutely no cure. Don’t worry, though. Only 1 in 4 men have it.

18. This is a somber photograph followed by a girl’s story about how a terrible, awful thing happened to her. Here is another story about a congress woman that made it in a man’s world! Here is a 28-year-old with a fashion business! Women don’t get paid as much, and third-world women have it harder. Because these are our serious pages! Followed by raunchy sex tales!

23. Horoscope shows you will be assertive at work and get some tail.

politan

a joke ah found

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."

before i forget

2 veggie oxo cubes
a bag of carrot baton things
a load of water
handfuls of fresh basil and coriander
spoon of aubergine pesto
spoon of garlic paste
bit of soy sauce
water
some basil from a choob.

... makes a nomworthy soup.

i just thought i'd post this before it goes into the land of things i make that i can't remember how...

facebook, uni, old people.

when i started at uni, as far ago as 2004, i looked online for forums of new students. i 'met' a good few people on there, some i'm still in touch with, others i know as people who also take up space on forums and non-facebook interspace.

it wasn't until 2006 i hit the book of face, it was, to me, 'dull as a box of hair' in those days. in many many ways, it still is. no matter how lively it gets, it doesn't beat a good forum thread... also its just so.. serious! i miss in a lot of ways the relative anonymity of forums and blogs. this is the first point at which i feel like i'm growing old...

from the age of about 12/13, i've had a mobile phone. since then, i've always wondered how people met up with each other or arranged anything before such devices existed. i was interested in the common sense approaches of those only a little older than me. 'we just rang each other at home and said we'd be at a place at a time and then we just were there and so was the other person...' pah! what if you were running late? the other person waited...

anyway.

i went to uni before facebook existed. (for me)

there will be people out there, with the same curiosity i had about pre-mobile phone yoofs, about me, a pre social networking student.