hai

this be a post. the post that is the most.

update/consumption

i haven't written anything on here cuz i got a job and i moved house. both of which are proper time consuming. i don't do much at the moment that isn't a chore or work.

however, due to this 'work' buisness, i am now earning both money and the excuse/ability to improve things in my general life that are not *completly* rubbish, but could probably do with improving.

for example, i own 2 towels. both of these towels predate my current and previous relationships. to conclude, i've had em since i was at school. they both still do the job, but tbh, the piggehs have better quality towels than i do, so i might replace them both. (the towels, not the piggehs)

for another example, my shoes have a hole in them the size of a 1p. cracks in the soles mean i have to avoid even the smallest of puddles. this is not the best good plan really, living in the rainiest city in the uk means that ideally, you wear wellies.

that reminds me, my wellies have holes in too, i could do with some new ones.

also needed is a microwave, our current one is probably older than i am, it sparks and it makes the flat smell of burning. i have been eating cold ready brek this week and it's only just occurred to me that life doesn't have to be like this.

things i hate on facebook

i'm in a grumpuss mood so i will make a list.

1. the word 'random' - even the best people do it.
2. people being bored and writing 'is bored' as their status update.
3. people claiming their favourite cars are something jeremy clarkson talked about once, when they've probably never seen one or driven one in the flesh before
4. people who post fecking huge albums of rubbish (like me)
5. people who write 'BSc' after their names.
6. people who join groups claiming they like 'rough sex' -- uh... i didn't really wanna know that on friending you...

ode to spot

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,

An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;

Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses

Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,

A singular development of cat communications

That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection

For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;

You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.

And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,

It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display

Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.

And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,

I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

twitter - why i'm warming to it...

i'm warming to it, i mean, at first i was like, 'yeh but it's just a load of facebook status updates'

but then i was like 'ah, its JUST a load of facebook status updates - cool!'

pros
no annoying applications
ditto ads
no selective adverts
no groups

cons
sounds really stupid
not many ppl on it
fonts r small
some really annoying people use it (tho i guess you can just not follow them)
'follow'ing people sounds really weird and stalky...

bright frog

this frog nommed a christmas light, luckily, it lived.

cake

here is a novel cake from cakewrecks.


i am annoyed with cake today.

possibly because i haven't had much sleep lately, tho tbh i am quite happy about how quickly i can get back to a 9-5 ready sleep cycle after an all nighter (i have decided these are not really profitable shifts, cuz of the sheer amount of time it takes me to recover lol)

anyway, cakes piss me off. when i want a piece of cake i just want a piece of cake dammit, i don't wanna go buying a whole damned cake in tescos and then eating 8 portions of cake! and i don't have enough friends to share the cake with to just have 1 piece of cake left over. and then i end up with half a cake in the fridge and i gotta eat eat cuz waste not want not but usually by that time i am not really into cake. poo to cake and shops and stuffs.

duck

i was walking across this bridge the other day when i heard a 'quack!' noise. thinking 'z0mg!duckzz!!' i immediately quacked back, then more quacking... so i quack back... then this dude also on the bridge and i both realise we have been quacking at each other and the ducks have said nothing! whoops. he was quite good at quacking, but not as good as me.

babies

the average age of first sexual encounter is now 14.3 years old.

70% of girls were coerced in some way in their first sexual experience, i don't know the figure for boys.

a lot more pregnancies than i thought end in abortion, which is more likely the younger the mum to be.

3rd trimester ladies shouldn't lie flat on their backs

sit ups too soon after birth mess up the shape of tummies and can lead to muscle damage

z0mg! (people modding)

blimey! here's a list of the top 10 modified people! i am clearly a wuss.

wickedist paintings of robots

http://despainart.com/index.php/site/gallery/the-exchange/2007

friends

there has been a '25 things about me' thing circulating on faysbooque lately, and it's got me thinking on the nature of friends, and who calls who a friend. teh swede is quite strict with his definition of a 'friend' and therefore keeps his list of true friends short n sweet. i have more than 1 type of friend,

1. teh best friends - there are a few of these, but basically these are people who (i hope) i will always keep in touch with, ones who have forgiven me over and over again for being a nob, having a bad day, sulking and saying/doing downright stupid things. these also include family. all the positive things said below apply to these friends.

2. teh best good friends - there are a few more of these, basically people who i keep in touch with, always think are lovely happy people, will always be happy to hear about and expect to see at least a few times a year (lol i know that doesn't sound like much, but is all stupidlong distances involved, and i think that good friends don't have to live in the same town as you to be good friends)

3. old friends - people who i will always respect and admire and wish the best for, perhaps at more of a distance, i may never see them again in my life (dramaz) but when i think of them i smile and i always thinks of them as good people, hoping they are happy in their lives. facebook usually lets me know this and i smile.

4. friends of friends who i am incredibly grateful for and i think are great - these include the friends, partners and family of good friends, basically, all the people that make the people i am friends with happy i feel are great by extension lol

it's complicated!

stevedave vilinius jorian of willingdonshire

joined us shortly after mumbles/william j jackingshire arrived. he is quite ridiculous.

it's been 10 days!

since my last update, which really is terrible. what can i say?

firstly, that i have been watching the olympics, and have been amazed by the synchronised diving, the swimming, the gymnastics, loads of things actually i am so impressed by it all!

secondly, that i am going through one of those times where i am just not impressed by a whole bunch of stuff and hardly have the energy to do anything about it. there is an online idiot who seems to take delight in sapping the life out of me and coming out with utter shite over and over again and to some extent i really would love to just launch into an enormous rant about how pointless and silly a person they are... but i am my mothers daughter, i would rather attack the ideas and the actions of people than the people themselves. which is an altogether much longer and more difficult task not worthy of my time or effort. i have blogs to nurture!

thirdly, i have been getting around a bit, it has been lovely being able to travel so much these past few years, i get such itchy feet if i stay in this town too long. a friend said to me last week that she would like to move northwards, as this town is a wannabe london, everyone is so self involved, self important and constantly rushing around - forgetting to stop and look at what is really beautiful in life/hippy. The south east of england, barring london, wants to be london but gets it wrong. it has eternal short man syndrome, in which it's always trying to prove itself to be the big man, and always falling depressingly short...

my favorite celebrity.

john mayer fools the world with his 'experimental human growth hormone, take 2x daily' lol

bikini bum

so recently i got a new bikini, it's a gorgeous sky blue colour, really lovely and i can't say much more than that really! it fits perfectly and is very cool looking. i wish for an excuse to wear it, like nice weather (ahem!!! mother nature!!) days off (ahem!! employers!!) - and no the bank holiday is not a blessing for me, as i am one of those people that works pretty much any hour other people are not working, for better or worse, the beach, again.. day off + weather!! and a spa trip (ahem, miss snowmantle!!)

anyway, what i wanted to share with you this evening was a piece of writing i found over on shapely prose. i probably spelled that wrong but ur probably all used to that by now if you read this.

it's a parody of something you might have read recently if you ever go near *generic beauty magazine* you know the whole 'get that bikini body in 10 days/this new starvation method/a million squats/major surgery! you too can look like our cover model even if you do not otherwise look anything like her!!!

anyway, this post is a mind workout. seems a bit long winded to me but then i remembered the years i spent trying to convince lifeguards that my t shirt was indeed swimwear, and my board shorts were also necessary, and without them, i was not going to leave the changing room.

these days, i tend to let the flab run free and untamed lol, because it's mine and i don't want to waste another day worrying about stupid little things, when i could be worrying about stuff that actually matters, like what colour to paint my nails... erm.

but enough babble, here it is:

http://kateharding.net/2008/05/20/guest-post-28-days-to-a-bikini-mind/#more-1428

who says romance is dead?

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/04/30/naked.prom.ap/index.html?eref=rss_us

"ANN ARBOR, Michigan (AP) -- Thirteen members of a high school lacrosse team have been disciplined for dropping their pants to send a prom invitation from one player to a girl.

The lacrosse players at Huron High School in Ann Arbor, Michigan displayed the question, "Will You Go To The Prom With Me? Yes or No?" on their bottoms, which they bared during a junior varsity game last Thursday.

Officials suspended 13 players for an undetermined number of games and ordered them to perform 20 hours of community service. They also were suspended from school for one day.

The girl accepted the prom invitation."

Yay!!!

barry oh-bummer.

just listening to the news,
they are talking about barak obama.

i usually hear obama pronounced 'oh-bah-mah' but this reporter is calling him 'barry-oh-bummer'

bum..

lol

i am so immature.



1 in 10 americans believe that he is a 'closet musilm'. i say, why should this matter? but that is *obviously* an incredibly stupid and naive question because *obviously* muslims are evil terrorists planning to take over the world.

i sigh.

i wish him luck, tho he already has it, his wife and kids seem so lovely. good man.