25 things you'll always hear in a ladies mag

awesome

includes such gems as:

7. There are four ways to dress: Romantic florals, Urban Chic, Classic with an Edgy Twist, and wearing your boyfriends t-shirt is sexy.

13. Buy some fucking boots. Wear them with all the sundresses we encouraged you to buy and a ‘chunky’ sweater and BAM! Summer to fall wardrobe! Jazz hands, statement piece!

17. Here’s another terrible STD you can die from. There aren’t any symptoms and absolutely no cure. Don’t worry, though. Only 1 in 4 men have it.

18. This is a somber photograph followed by a girl’s story about how a terrible, awful thing happened to her. Here is another story about a congress woman that made it in a man’s world! Here is a 28-year-old with a fashion business! Women don’t get paid as much, and third-world women have it harder. Because these are our serious pages! Followed by raunchy sex tales!

23. Horoscope shows you will be assertive at work and get some tail.

a joke ah found

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."

new glasses?

i lurve these glasses, they also come in black and pink, but i think blue/brown looks best!
what do u think? here's the linkeh: http://www.specsavers.co.uk/glasses/designer-glasses/osiris-677

a post about a roast i love the most.

i made a roast yesterday, for the first time in ages, and the first time since we moved. it was a chicken and i am told it was nice (this isn't an 'i am told i am cute and hugable' type thing, i didn't eat any myself u c) it was yummy, and (gross) my hands still smell of the 3 garlic bulbs that were peeled and added to various bits of roastyness. since making the roast, the leftovers are now becoming a seris of roast-themed meals, like roast sandwiches, roasty toasies, um, roast potato for breakfast and now, roast veg couscous made with chicken stock.. i feel like that stupid hugh guy with the chicken thing, trying to make as many meals as poss out of one roast dinner... stay tuned for potential updates lol

lolz

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."

cooking

it's been ages since i did a cooking related post, and since i am too brain dead to write much else tonight, here's what i cooked

um...

i call it sweet potato-onion surprise.

we had a big ol' bunch of onions (which was the style at the time)
a load of sweet potatoes we hadn't used up due to the fact that they are long to prepare
and um, no rice! argh! so.. some... couscous

i boiled the sweet pots for a little while (boiling them too much results in sweet potato mash, it makes mash whether u want it or not so u have to keep an eye on the little fiends) and fried the onions and some frozen peppers i found with a whole bunch of spices, mostly tumeric and chilli powder so it was lovely dark orange-y and a big squidge of garlic paste then i made some couscous and bunged that in too. it was really nice, if a little bit 0niony lol but srsly, bargainous way to use up stuff.

in other news, the reason i am using up stuff is cuz teh mello will be coming to stay on weds and i figured i'd take her f00d shopping so we can get stuff she actually likes.

i bet she is really excited about this lol... i know how 2 show my friends a good time! supermarkets!! wooo!

Thanks, Sarah Haskins!

Funneh girl

here's a jezbel link featuring 4 of her videos, about important things like brides, botox, yoghurt that makes u poop, etc.

dont say i never give you anything good on this blog!

My Celebrity BMI is...

Oprah!

Sweet! Oprah is hot! V hard to find full length pics of her tho.. but whatever, Oprah is totally awesome, if only I had her talents and sense!

hai! i am teh celebrity BMI thingy!!

beach

I rly want to go to the beach soon, watch this space!!!