loz from the onion
here
also, war is socialised in america right? i don't see anyone popping out to make private war contributions or pay their war bill? how can you socialise killing but not saving? or indeed, 'liberating' other countries but not letting families go bankrupt because their kid got sick?
there's some very strange peoples over there..
Friday, 21 August 2009
Monday, 17 August 2009
boobs
last night i thought of a list of reasons that ladyboobs are totally stupid and unnecessary outside of their mammaly purpose of feeding behbehs. here is some of my list, feel free to add to it.
they can be heavy
they can hurt their owners backs
they require expensive housing
this housing is ill fitted and often impractical
they can require extensive support
they carry a 1 in 10 risk of developing cancer
other mammals do not seem to need them unless they are nursing
they get in the way of sleep and stuff and can stop you lying like a splat to sleep
they are usually different sizes to each other
they are rarely 'correct'
they do not alter to fit clothing trends
if they are altered, it is expensive and painful
someone will probably judge the owner of some boobs about the size, location or general presentation of said boobs
they can impair running and other activities
they can cause teenagers massive embarrassment
they can cause some males and females to act differently, despite their owners wishes
they require coverage in public, by law in some places
they distract people
they always predict the weather wrong.
they can be heavy
they can hurt their owners backs
they require expensive housing
this housing is ill fitted and often impractical
they can require extensive support
they carry a 1 in 10 risk of developing cancer
other mammals do not seem to need them unless they are nursing
they get in the way of sleep and stuff and can stop you lying like a splat to sleep
they are usually different sizes to each other
they are rarely 'correct'
they do not alter to fit clothing trends
if they are altered, it is expensive and painful
someone will probably judge the owner of some boobs about the size, location or general presentation of said boobs
they can impair running and other activities
they can cause teenagers massive embarrassment
they can cause some males and females to act differently, despite their owners wishes
they require coverage in public, by law in some places
they distract people
they always predict the weather wrong.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
things i hate on facebook
i'm in a grumpuss mood so i will make a list.
1. the word 'random' - even the best people do it.
2. people being bored and writing 'is bored' as their status update.
3. people claiming their favourite cars are something jeremy clarkson talked about once, when they've probably never seen one or driven one in the flesh before
4. people who post fecking huge albums of rubbish (like me)
5. people who write 'BSc' after their names.
6. people who join groups claiming they like 'rough sex' -- uh... i didn't really wanna know that on friending you...
1. the word 'random' - even the best people do it.
2. people being bored and writing 'is bored' as their status update.
3. people claiming their favourite cars are something jeremy clarkson talked about once, when they've probably never seen one or driven one in the flesh before
4. people who post fecking huge albums of rubbish (like me)
5. people who write 'BSc' after their names.
6. people who join groups claiming they like 'rough sex' -- uh... i didn't really wanna know that on friending you...
Thursday, 6 August 2009
books and the beast
was thinking about disney this morning, mainly about books in beauty & the beast.
the beast gives belle a library.
Is this an awesome romantic gesture?
or does he just have a big old library that's been handed down thru generations that he isn't really that interested in?
does the beast read? it'd be nice if he did, they'd have something more in common then...
also, what does belle read anyway, i dunno how to make this point without sounding like a booksnob, but looking thru the first song she seems to read jack & the beanstalk, and Cinderella. lots about prince charming. (or so she sings to the sheep) her book also contains pictures. fair does etc, but i wonder what the deal is with her apparently being so clever when she reads only fairy tales and oldskool chicklit.
i kinda hoped belle would be reading about something else. i dunno what...
and i wish she would stop singing about how her villiage is full of simple little people. stfu belle.
that said, it might be the 'best' disney princess film.. erk i will have to think on that.
i always liked mulan, but i am now scared to watch it again in case i notice shit like outlined above.... it would ruin it :-(
the beast gives belle a library.
Is this an awesome romantic gesture?
or does he just have a big old library that's been handed down thru generations that he isn't really that interested in?
does the beast read? it'd be nice if he did, they'd have something more in common then...
also, what does belle read anyway, i dunno how to make this point without sounding like a booksnob, but looking thru the first song she seems to read jack & the beanstalk, and Cinderella. lots about prince charming. (or so she sings to the sheep) her book also contains pictures. fair does etc, but i wonder what the deal is with her apparently being so clever when she reads only fairy tales and oldskool chicklit.
i kinda hoped belle would be reading about something else. i dunno what...
and i wish she would stop singing about how her villiage is full of simple little people. stfu belle.
that said, it might be the 'best' disney princess film.. erk i will have to think on that.
i always liked mulan, but i am now scared to watch it again in case i notice shit like outlined above.... it would ruin it :-(
Sunday, 2 August 2009
a sketch for teh mello
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